Don't try to change me

So many people thought I was not emotionally equipped to handle the pressure of life or the ones that come with living in the city of gold - all by myself. I seemed in denial to the very same people. But what is it that I\m in denial of, I always asked myself. This is who I am and what I want. I am so over living a small portion of my life out of touch with reality only to conform to what other people may think is the right thing for me. Taking full charge, I am owning who I really am. I've changed, believe it or not, I couldn't be less bothered. More than anything I've realized how exhausting it is swimming upstream all the damn time. So try to enjoy me, don't try to change me. I am not going to change for you

Just living my life

It should be no surprise to anyone who knows me well that I'm back living in Johannesburg again. These past eight weeks of winter have been a horrific rollercoaster ride of UP and also down. The UPs being that I managed to add a bit more positivity into my entire life - and as challenging and frustrating as the process was for me initially, I managed to pull through the pain and I can say I came out as a better person. With a clearer conscious, bigger responsibilities and a pure heart. My mental health is now set up in such that every other day I have to beat myself into acknowledging that, bad as things can be, life is not so horrible to me right now. Besides my dad feeling ill, I've got a lot going on for me and I've just gotta be grateful and to just keep at it.

Uncuthu turns four

Happy fourth birthday to my dearest nephew Uncuthu! I want this kid to know that I love him unconditionally. Uncle is going to get you a paw patrol toy boy.

Travel Fridays

I really try to not be too descriptive about my writing with this blog because being a recovering drug addict has made me feel so vulnerable to share a lot about my life. So, without being too descriptive - my life has been formed around busyness and some kind of organised chaos for the past few weeks. Juggling family duties, a social life, being a student as well as being an amazing boyfriend to my FRESH companion has been so frustrating. I woke up on this particular friday morning wanting to spark a litany of impassioned hope for a better lifestle. I need a break. Infact, I honestly need a getaway, a holiday. These are pictures of my recent vacay with my travel partners. My nephew Uncuthu and my sister Princess Alisonka Mlambo. All I can say is Zimbabwe was FUN and the country made me feel so damn giddy! Take me back!!!

Gloomy King Williams Town

Awkwardly, It's one of those gloomy King Williams Town winter days and I'm loving it. I could just curl up on the couch and watch movies with popcorn and coffee in hand but I'd rather be out doing fun things like chilling with friends, sipping on Pinotage and talking crap with friends. That's exactly what I'm doing.

Stepping UP

So.... In the spirit of being a better blogger, I will make sure I share a post with you guys at least twice a month. I need to start finding a way to be as consistent with my posts as can possibly be. Now that I've managed to get myself a new phone (before the one I lost inside a taxi) best believe I will stay true to my word. I honestly pray I get to a point where I'm digging deep into recognizing trends, fashion and style, and attending events that interest me the most in King. My dailly struggle about being in King though is having to live amongst a culture that does not completely represent me. But I will never complian because I know God put me and my family here for a reason. I try to find a balance and to find ways to strongly stay true to my God giving design regardless of my environment. Life down here is a complete opposite to my natural disposition. But you know what? I'd like to think there are alot like me with socially unpopular identitys but there are many shades of black and its time we embrace them all. I am Ndebele!! And I want people to always know that about me. Its who I am aswell as who I identify with as a human being. Do I look as hammered as I really was? All dressed up though!!

Flooding internally with tears of fear

I'll be quite honest. I am one of those people who literally experience nerves when placed in a situation where I could be rejected. I don't know why I feel this way but all I know is that I certainly wasn't raised to feel this way about myself. Struggling with this fear of rejection has had a far reaching impact in the way I lived my life. I now believe each of us are born into genuis. Sadly, most of us die amid mediocrity. I am now grown to fear NOTHING but the Almighty God. I needed a bit of cheering up today, so I opted for Kidd's Beach with Gin and Lemonade of cause :-)