Birthday weekend in Durbs

My birthday weekend actually didn't really pan out the way I had planned it to be. Busy as always, a part of me dragged the entire trip of having to be in Durban by myself lonely self. But I kept telling myself the entire morning 'not to feel this heartbreak' And guess what? I had a pretty relaxed time Ethekwini once again. Booked into a hotel in North Beach, I spent the five days willingly laying inside the white sheets of my hotel room bed and ordering room service for all the meals of the day. This was totally unexpected, I kid you not. I went out to a few unusual Pubs around the north beach area, walking distance from Blue Suites Hotel.  I got to meet new friends, eat the 'famous' mutton curry bunny chow and enjoyed a night out at the infamous Cubanna in Florida.

 On my way back home I was happy to see the only girl that could ever, try, turn a guy like me straight (in South Africa) - miss Boity Thulo. As we were walking out of the aircraft and walking into the doors of Lanseria Airport. I felt emped up with love and confidence from being around my own space and genuinely feeling happy about that. Having nobody there to join me on my birthday dinner now felt really positive. 

As a twenty seven year old recoving drug addict, I sometimes feel pressure to sustain a concrete identity of who I really am to people in society. I call it living a suffering lavish lifestyle and ultimately, I'm all about my happiness and having a good time right now in my life. Walking my journey is what's most important. Ya'll should always know how much I pride myself about my culture and my ethnic group.

Ngilindebele mina. I am destined for greatness, ekhaya akuhlala!

Someone who is inspired by the weather

The weather this past week in Johannesburg has been pretty bipolar. Fluctuating and changing each and every day- one night its raining, another day its windy, then another day the sun comes out so on. Im really not enjoying this sudden gloomy winter weather- more especially in summer, we shouldnt be experiencing rain and such terrible cloudy and grey days during the day. Or should we? I feel completely uninspired in this state of weather because all I tend to think about is staying indoors and making sure Im comfortable and warm. So when I do go out I just throw on a combination of strange things like boots, a pair of jeans and a leather jacket. I always tend to think about keeping warm more than I think about looking good. Fact is, any day when I'm not having to cover up is a great day for me to look good - so I can also feel good. That's just me! 

I honestly want to start feeling my mood once again bright, inspired and chipper by the simple radiant light of sunshine. That's my leeway to making people understand how simple I am in the way in which I dress and carry myself . I want my readers to know everything about my style evolution and how grown and funky its become, more especially being known as the 'ordinary' guy who appears to look dapper in clothes which are considered affordable by most people.

Living in a new age. In my own way.

I just got back from my birthday weekend in Durban and let me say I have in depth mixed emotions about how realisticly legalistic zulu people are. That topic thou,  will be a blog on its  own - together with my entire experience of ethekwini, north beach and of cause turning a year old. I'm only a few months since I've moved out of home and my mind has been actively spinning with thoughts of the life I lived under the influence of so many mood and mind altering substances. It’s hard having to be back to the exact same community that nearly killed me, literally. But let me tell you, Facing your “demons” is something we all have to do at some point. We must confront the things that plague us– our insecurities, shortcomings, and the sneaking suspicion that maybe we are not as good of people as we play ourselves to be. I just knew it would be best for me to leave home in order to face all my demons - head on, with the help and support of the people who love me the most. Family. If I were to somehow measure my well-being and the general state in which my life was in at the time, it would've been without a doubt been equivalent to zero or even close to absolutely nothing. I know for a fact I can't go back to doing the same things I did in the past. So I've put together a relapse prevention to help me stay fully focused on pursuing a much more meaningful existence.

This is a list of things that will possibly help me along my path.

·       Using positive affirmations

·       Staying active and focused

·       Not go into tough situations by myself

·       Start each day and end each day with a session at the gym OR any other recovery orientated activity I might have in mind

·       Talk to others about my recovery as much as I can

·       Prepare for the most challenging situations if I can’t avoid it

Mlambo Family Slaying?

This colab with Kyle was amazing!! Especially using my big sister Princess Alisinka Mlambo and nephew Prince Uncuthu as our models. Kyle is proving to me by the day how superb he is in his job. Its also nice when you can work with someone you're also dearly close to. I am giving you a bit of who I am by the day. And these are direct members of my family that you should know. They are my pillar of strength, my travel partners - I have nothing but unconditional love. Anyway, scroll down and Happy Decembering! 

You can't take me down.

Out of anger - he felt the need to use twitter as his act to 'canvassing' certain issues he had with me when he could still call me his companion. Drama, I know. Before I could even say much, my account got suspended by cape town gay twitter. So today marks exactly three months since our verbal game of insults and threats to each other on twitter and I can say I'm still bitter about the whole situation and how it was handled by people on twitter. Gay twitter. Immediately, our audience reacted in a way that added even more extreme tension between us - superpowers. Carelessly labelling one another, and him spreading lies and saying the kind of remarks that amped up the audience to pay full attention of the drama, to say the least.

I have since been suspended from twitter for reasons I am still unsure of and my account being suspended is gradually building a lot of anger inside of me by the day. I am so eager for people to hear my side of the story of what really happened because honestly, I want people to know this chap for the person that he really is. His dirty secrets are undeniably too far gone to keep. To top that off, these past few days have been so rainy with such cold winds in the evenings and I've just been indoors in winter pyjammas all curled up beneath my blankets struggling to study. 

When its warm outside and the sun is out, I could be down and out and still manage to wear a fake smile on my face for all you haters. As a matter of fact, any day when Im not having to cover up happens to be a blessing to me. So says the capricorn - summer baby that is me. Ultimately, I strongly believe that God will never take me somewhere I'm not supposed to be and nobody can steal the gifts that HE has given to me. In a clear voice; I say, no more pain, shame or mysery. You wont take me down. You wont break me down. Theres more to me than my mistakes. 

A legend down

Two days after the tragic death of HHP and I can without a doubt say his memory still lives and will live in my life forever. Ever since I heard the news of HHP's passing, I have been contemplating my own lingering & deep sadness and I tried a bit to find ways to understand why this loss has affected me in the way that it has. No response but thr fact that he was in my view HOPE personified. He opened doors for a lot of kidos in the music industry and still managed to remain humble as well as funny. He was infact the hope that our country still desperately needs. He represented with integrity, humility, openness and a genuine sense of self, the kind of South African we all aspire to be. His far-reaching ability across all barriers of music, race, gender, age, etc made HHP an incredibly remarkable human being. His pride in who he was and in where he came from and the courage to live that with passion and conviction makes this loss incredibly sad. May we not lose the lesson. No matter how and why he died how he symbolized hope and "hope deserts us at no point in our existence." Therefore as we lay him at his final resting place, may that reminder serve to inspire us to be the kind of South Africans HHP would laugh and be proud of.

KZN vacay nearing

Sessssh!! Seems like such a long time since I've last blogged hey. I will admit to have completely fallen off schedule regarding my blog posts thou, and that is mainly because I haven't really been feeling myself of lately. I feel so far from ever living my life as my ideal self or even reaching my long term goals in my life. I wont dwell on that thou. Its best I write about much more exciting things about my life, you know. My vacay to Kwazulu Natal is nearing (in about two months from now) and this time around I'm most interested in learning more about umzulu in depth and sort of get to know more about their traditions and how legalistic zulu men are with their culture. I've heard so many people from KZN speak about towns such as New Castle, Kwa Mashu as well as Maritzburg to mention a few; I am really keen on exploring more of these smaller towns and nourished green farmlands of Kwazulu Natal which is the land of the largest ethnic group in our country. I will not be touring the beautiful coastal areas, visiting uShaka Marine World or watching a show at the Moses Mabhida Staduim. The only commercial place I'll be visiting as per their destination attraction is the Botanical Gardens which have indigenous and exotic plant collections. Anyway, I am blogging about this because I just cant wait already! So keen! And thinking about is actually surprisingly exciting already. You'd swear this is a trip to Barbados! The way I am.